M i dying??

How can life be so miserable when i m actually over the moon and then back down to earth with a loud smash??

I feel like i m dying ... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... dying... .....................................................................................................................................................................
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.................................I M DYING.....
i m actually trying to type till i feel better, but i dont really feel better now...
It's still the same... I knew that when i started to get emo, it will start for a long time...
I will lose my smile again...Our english teacher, Mdm Ng has given us an assignment before, asking us to write down all the causes that we faced that may lead us to stress or depression...
Well, i have to admit that mine should be the longest cos i have written two pages for that.. and it's just simply not enough...
I m easily depressed then started to feel emo again...
For example

1. i m stress cos i think i downloaded the Chinese star program to type reports for Persatuan Bahasa Cina and now, my computer is in VIRUS... How can this be?? So, does this mean that i need to delete my chinese star program? But i need it for my club... wad should i do?

2. then, i feel so stress out cos im having my first aid exam soon... Well, this is my last year...I m kinda regret cos i din take the exam earlier... I scare that i might fail this exam...And that will be very embarassing cos my junior will be taking the exam with me...if they passed, and i failed...Owh!! Tat's so bad... How can i teach them again?? What should i do?

3. My camera's memory is full now, so i might have to transfer them to my pendrive... But the device used to transfer the photos, is lost!! My sis might need the camera wif some space for other photos, so do i need to delete the photos? I havent transfer anything yet..!! It's the disection day of da mice... I would like to upload the photos though... and the mooncake festival's too... What should i do?

4. My sis just like to quarrel with me... It's not that i have done sth wrong, but she just loves to make me angry.. and scold me for being angry o rude... Ok!! Fine! Now, i wont say a word then, and let u feel the quietness in the house without my voice... (cos im always the noisiest)... I also wanna practice not to talk too much in school...

5. Recently, i have thought too much bout someone... Not to mention who that person is...But, he indeed influenced my mind... So, i have decided not to think anything bout him anymore... It just makes me feel so mindless... I decided to concentrate in my studies and go overseas to study... I hope he will too... So, we can study together, but i know that's still very long time from now... I've thought hard...Now, it's not the time for us as spm is soon (next year) and it would be nice if both of us can study hard together to get the good achievement.... The future is still far away from us... Being friends at the meantime will be better as a test between us... Then, i started to realise that, "like" and "love" are just simply very tough for me.... So, i wanna take it easy... and clear my mind off... I wana study....Ok, i like blogging... I like to express my feeling here although i knew that many people wil lread bout it.... I still like blogging... especially when i m emo.... Cos, writing a diary is a slow process for me and i myself think that i can type faster than write... So, here i m.... Nagging with all the problems i have faced...

Will get well soon, maybe 2 more weeks later or maybe even till the end of the year....
This is the starting towards a quiet year next year....

M i dying with all this symptoms? When i read wad i have typed, it just seems to be small matters but all these tiny-whinny jsut ruined up my life at the meantime... I wanna smile...=D
Please....
God, i noe that You r always with me when i m sad... You r always there to be by my sides and say "It'll over sometimes"... I m following You now... Isit time for me to take up the test in my life, to grow tougher and more mature?? If tat's ur demand, i will follow You...
Please, please protect me and make me stronger to go through these challenges and dont let me collapse before i have succeeded... With all my heart and the name of Jesus, i pray..

Amen.