The secret that have been revealed...

The secret that i have kept for around...erm.. probably 3 months??
Today, i just found out that it had been known by others especially by the one involved too...
Well, basically, none other than the "special" someone....
I think it had been such a long time that i think he is not just a friend to me...
At first, he WAS... But not until i got his MSN email address and added him....
Then, we started to chat more often than not, we talked more through msn then a normal oral conversation...
Maybe it's just simply because we dont get to see each other so we talked more comfortably...
There's nothing special bout him, not handsome, not extremely clever, not very tall....
In fact, he is not the type that i would like if i were still at the age 12 to 15 years old.
But as i grow, i do admit that i see things differently(lyk wad 1 of my fren had said)..
I understand that we really cant judge a book by it's cover...
So, it all happened when we started to talk bout Christian thingi and he encouraged me when i'm down....
He's very mature-thinking... He seems to know how to handle a situation well and help the others to do so too....
However, i didn't treat this as so-called LOVE yet...maybe just admire or like, cos' i dun wan to mixed-up my feelings again...
Besides, when i attended my church talk of love, i realised that it's really still quite early for us to touch on this "sensitive" issue.
So, i would rather keep it as a secret and maintain our good relationship so as to be frens for now...
However, it's rather difficult too, cos' i just cant help in keep noticing wad he is doing and stuff lyk that...
And, i just found out that there's a girl who like him too...
Well, it might be wrong, but that's just wad i feel... So, the girl is really good, pretty, clever and others are starting to say that they will be a nice couple to be put together...
Thus, i was getting less-er confident than before...
He told me that he didn't like anyone, so i think that is true...
So, i can actually forget bout the girl....
But, recently, i just know that more people get to know that i like him.!!
OMG!! How can they know that?? I know that the one who i told, will not betray me...
So, they guessed it correctly?? Hmm, i m trying hard to think that am i that obvious??
Nvm, the worse of all is that my fren just told me today, that "he" seems to know that i like him too...!!
OH NO!!
I m sure that i really tried so hard not to expose this secret to the others...Just to keep our good-fren-relation.
I do not wish to lost this now...
So, i can just hope that he wont know...

Well, the other thing is that, why do good frens tend to quarrel so much too??
Wad i mean is that, arent them the one who know us better than the others??
Then, y cant they understand our feelings??
Some of my best frens have quarrelled with each others...
Actually, i dont know wad to do in this situation..Cos, both of them are my best frens....
So, the only thing i can do is to hear they complain bout the other's fault...
But, i still hope that they will get together again soon...
Come on, buddies!! I know you guys will read this...
Just dont be too stubborn!! Forget bout the past...
Quarrel is not good for your health ya~
Be happy and get high mar!!
We are buddies wor...7 sis...
I also feel so bad cos i actually got angry wif one of the 7 sis....
In fact, i feel so upset by the news she told me...
Cos, i had told her the person that i like was ***...
But she didnt tell me hers...And wad she said was that noone knows bout it except 1 person--VS..
But then, today she told me that she feel so sorry cos everyone in 7 sis had known bout the person, except me and LT, but LT also seems to know it now...
So, it's only me who is still stupidly kept in "secret"??
So, i'm the one who sit nearest to you, but i'm the last one to know bout it??
Am i that untrustful??
Well, how can u aspect me not to angry...?
It's better if i dunno and the others dunno bout it too...
But now, everyone knows bout it except me, it makes me feel that i'm being left out, i'm not important, i'm not trustful, i'm stupid (cos LT get to guess the person correctly too, but except me)...
On that particular minute, i can sense that what it calls the nearest person to us, but the most alien we are...
Then, you tend to tell me, but i dun wan to know...
Actually, i want to know, but i said that i dun wan to know...
Cos, at that situation, u knew that i was angry, then u told me the truth (it's kinda like i force u)
I dun wan that...Cos, afterall, eventhough u tell me, u still didnt trust me...
U didnt tell me at the first place too...!!
Actually, i was not that angry after awhile, but now, when i typed this blog, i just get back the anger again...
I'm sure i'll be ok again...
I'll not be angry for the whole year...
I knew that u will read my blog too, so i just wanna tell u...
In case u said that u dunno i'm thinking botu in the future....
I'm kinda weird.... Something i should feel angry for a long time, sometimes it just happened that i only think bout it for a second and can play with u again the next second...
But this doesnt mean that i've forget bout it (maybe i do forget bout it at that time), but not in the futere...
I'm a SCROPIO, man!! I take things seriously too...
Maybe in the future, when i quarrelled with u, it might not be of small things, but that i suddenly thought of this case again....
I dunno y...I just feel so bad bout it...
u dont trust me...
Sorry ya~ I dont want to act in this way, but i'm just too weird, like just now when u told me, i did angry for a minute, then no...
But now, when i think of it, i m angry again...
Mayb tomoro back to normal...
Bout the profile and characteristics that i promsed to post, i will edit it some other time lo...
I have to arrange all the "data and observation" first...
Haha...=D