I am BAD GIRL~

Since when.....I've totally changed...
This is wad my papa accused me a few days ago...
He said, i'm growing bad... Like replying him in a rude way...sometimes shout too...

Ok!! I admitted that... I'm kinda rude, sometimes...But, that's just because he always said something opposite... Something that's not logic or wrong...
And, he's always the one who wanna shout wif me 1st, not me...k?
I'm just "accompanying" u to see who's the one with the loudest voice!! Hmph!!

In fact, I think i'm out of control sometimes... I will just scold back in a way that i dont really realise that i'm actually, being rude...
Tat day, when he said, " I wont let u go to church anymore....Never!! I am a Buddhist, so u're not a Christian too..."
See?? What does that mean?? Isnt it weird??
Even the government doesnt forbid the citizens from choosing their own religions...
However, now, my papa's telling me to stop being a Christian!!
Tat's when, i....m angry....ANGRY!!
I just cant talk to him anymore... I mean, "communicate"...
It seems like he lives in his own world, where everyone has to listen to his demand...

He doesnt know how God has saved his daughter...
He doesnt know how God has let his daughter survive from stress...
He doesnt know how rude it is to stop me from going to church....
He doesnt know EVERYTHING!!

His daughter almost DIE!!
His daughter almost became an insane!!
His daughter need God to save her...
Can he understands me??

The memory is still vivid in my mind...
The night when i wanna give up my life...
The night when i cried whole night and thought " What should i do in this world? I'm so useless"...
But then, my friend advised me to leave it to God... and pray...
I did it, and...yes!! Now, i'm still ok... It's all because of God...
I'm a Buddhist before too...
But then, i'm not tat..."believe" in this religion... Just as i joined Christian, i really felt that Jesus is always by my side to support me...
Going through all the tough moments, i'm really glad that i know Him....

Now, papa's stopping me from believing my saviour...
He said that i'm turning bad after becoming a Christian...
No!! It's just that everyone will have this so-called rebelliant period and start to disobey their parents' orders... It's nothing connected to my religion...
In fact, if i'm not a Christian, i'll be worse... I'll....mayb....hate my papa...yes, hate!!
But, Jesus told us to love our parents just like how He loves us...
We cannot hate our parents... So, i'm trying hard...
Everytime when i wanna shout, i remembered these...
This time, i'm trying hard too...
But, he just doesnt let me to go to church---a place that teaches me to control my own temper, and changes my attitude... Does that mean.... he wanna me to turn bad??

I dont understand... I wanna explain how important it is, for me to go to church...
But, i'm not given that chance...He refused to listen to anything regarding Christian...
He even said that anyone who drives me to church, he will spoil that car...
Hmm... i noe he can do that...
For now, i can only pray...because i still love my papa...
Although he's kinda unreasonable...But i know he protects me..always. So... I can only depend on God to do the rest...

Dear God,
I hope that God will change my papa's mind and let me go to church...
It's Christmas soon... I've been looking forward to this celebration with passion..
Please, God, dont let me down...I really enjoy the time in church with other friends...and God.
Jesus, it's your big day... I love You soo much...
Let me celebrate this celebration with You...
Allow me to go to church at anytime next year...to join the teenager's fellowship...
Let papa realised that God is the way...God changes me into a better nature...
Please...with Jesus name i pray, Amen.